be strong for me... i'll be strong for you...

lately i've been having mind blanks... school... work... sleep... school... work... sleep... nothing exciting... just the same stuff... we gotta do what we gotta do right... i guess lately i've been just tired and uninspired...

till then...beinspired...

Pretty Young Thing...

Man i feel old... the news of Michael Jackson today came as a shock... i've always loved his music :) this is my favorite song of his :)

here's to you Michael Jackson!!!

till then...beYouthful...

songs from my youth...

ok so i totally did NOT look for this video buuut its sort of a light hearted comedic view on relationships and how they make us crazy... crazy with emotion... our mind is our biggest enemy... it can turn things, spin things, and blow things out of proportion... where a perfectly sane level headed person can compleatly go crazy over a relationship... this video was on my youtube homepage under the "suggested videos" lol what are you trying to tell me youtube?!?! favorite line in the song would have to be "Why! didn't I know... (how much i love you baby)" haha so much emotion! i love the boybands of my youth and i will continue to love them :)

till then...beSane (cuz its only in your head... or is it?) LOL

Endless Love...

for some reason i stumbled across a song by Mariah Carey and Luther Vandross entitled Endless Love... this song was my parents wedding song but it was the Diana Ross and Lionel Richie version... i always wondered how they came to choose this song... if it was a special moment that they had... or simply the most romantic song that was out at the time i have no idea... but its a perfect song... my dad still always puts gas in my moms van... she never puts gas in... my mom will pick up my dad's favorite nuts at the store... my dad will get my mom's favorite chocolates from time to time... just sweet little things that i notice... its nice... it makes me strive for a relationship like that even more... they say the apple does not fall far from the tree... well i hope that also applies to relationships... i wonder how i'll stumble across the song... if me and my special someone will just know... if it will be as simple as it playing on the radio and us just knowing... as if it (ok bad pun alert) strikes a chord in our hearts... who knows... these are some of the many thoughts that run through my head...

this one's to you mom and dad :)

till then...beEndless...

Drive my soul...

i have been pretty busy lately... school... work... then school again... its making my summer go by faster but not fast... but i think that's good... if it went by too fast then i don't think i would be able to keep up with the work... but for now i'm good... getting my homework turned in on time... making it to all of my classes... not one absence... and actually enjoying going to class... rather than how i used to dread it... its funny how that can change... i've never felt so motivated... so determined... to finish school... well so that i can finally start my life... i've been in "college life" for too long... i want to start experiencing new things... be extreme... not have to worry about class or homework over the weekends... i'm ready to get out into the world... and start something... make something of myself... see if i really have what it takes...

ok when i was writing this i titled it drive my soul and it reminded me of this video :) its by a girl/band named "Lights" the video is kainda weird but i like the song :)


but it is past my bed time...

till then...beDriven...

can i have this dance...

i love cheesy movies, romantic movies, movies where love triumphs, movies where the nice guys always finish first, but more importantly movies that have a happy romantic ending where you sigh and think to yourself... i wish that would happen to me... haha well i came across this video and it reminded me of how maybe someday i would like to learn how to dance :) i think it would be so cool to be able to share a dance with none other than the one that you love... like a form of communication where two people can feel the others feelings... when they pull each other closer... or spin each other around... things like that letting the other take control... putting your faith in them not to drop you haha... but i just really like this video so don't make fun of me its from High School Musical 3... both actors are i think dating in real life and you can tell that they really love each other.... so one of my goals is to learn how to really dance so that when it comes time for me to dance with my special someone it just wont be a simple hip sway... not that the hip sway is bad :p i'm a big fan of the swaying lol ok here's the vid...


till then...bePlayful...

planning, little notebooks, and randomness

i've found myself asking for specific dates, times and other things... i have also recently started carrying around a note pad with me everywhere i go just to jot things down... yeah i could put it in my blackberry but there is something about writing things down and scratching things off... i also use it to write down some of my thoughts during the day, there has been many times where i have seen something or thought of something where i would want to remember it for later but did not get the chance to write it down... well now i do... my little notepad is filled with my thoughts... dates to remember... lists... and other things of that nature... its quite handy actually you should get one... they have them at Hallmark or Barnes and noble... for the past couple of months i've started to plan a lot and very intensely lol... i've learned that planning allows you to move forward... and to see that you have moved forward... and now that i'm older i can't always remember everything in my head like i used to... or maybe the amount of information that i need to remember has increased drastically in size... either way planning is necessary well for me at least to figure out whats going on with my school, hanging out with friends, and other things... i guess all of this planning is good... good for me... it makes me happy because i know whats coming up... and at the same time i don't think my spontaneous-ness has diminished... so thats always good because i don't think we should ever lose being spontaneous but we also have to remember to plan...

till then...beSpontaneous-yet-Organized...

quiet wednesday afternoons....

just finished up my work for the day... summer school... i'm sitting on the futon in the living room... the sun sets in my backyard so i can see it peeking through the trees and the blinds that are half open... everything is quiet... all i can hear is the subtle sound of the tv that was left on in my roommates room while taking his nap... its at these times where the quiet is nice... the quiet calms me... but then at the same time... its these times where the quiet reminds me... the quiet reminds me of the special moments that i keep in my head... the special moments that i miss... moments where i was so blissfully happy... moments where i'd give anything to lift up my phone to see that i have a text waiting from you... i wish i could share these quiet moments with you like i once did... where words could not express my feelings... where a simple squeeze on the hand would be all it would take... or just my head falling on your shoulder... i could go on forever about wishes and hopes... but for now i just need to enjoy the quietness... the sun on my skin... and the soft sound of the tv... its at these times when i feel the most alone... but the world around me is trying to keep me company...

till then...beReflective...

being in different places at the same time...

we are all at different points in our lives... with our careers... our emotions... our thoughts... outlooks on life... and sometimes in relationships two people end up not drifting apart but drifting into different points in their lives without realizing it... sometimes this can cause some problems... but i believe that people can always drift back... but we forget that we are not always moving at the same speed... if two people were at the same point then slowly one got ahead of the other... or one got behind the other... we sometimes forget how to get back to the same point with each other... now i can say that i've felt both parts... being behind or moving too slow and being ahead moving too fast... we just need to adjust our speed at which we live our lives so that one day we may find ourselves next to that significant other where we are within an arms length away... then holding hands won't be such a challenge... its those moments that keep me going... its those moments that drive my inner strength to keep moving or to slow down... its those times in my head where i think about when what i had was so special... so near and dear to my heart that if i'm 3 arms lengths away i cannot simply just jump to close the gap... everything needs to be gradual... its when i go to the store and see those chocolates... or a specific movie... 100 calorie packs... just the little things... whitening booster by arm and hammer :p... it reminds me to just enjoy whats going on right now... slow steps... baby steps... to maybe fall in love all over again... to have a second time holding hands... but it feels like the first time... a second first kiss... all of those things will be worth it... all thrown together in a soup of patience... strength... time... and love... everything is so fast now a days... internet... cars... food... more and more people have no patience for anything... we just have to remember that slow isn't always a bad thing... sometimes slow is what is needed... because we can only catch the true beauty of whats happening when we go slow...

till then...beDedicated...

other blog entries...

was going to blog about something awesome tonight but read something more awesome on a blog of a very close friend :)

A Dog and His Toy...

till then...beLoving...

family ties...

if you know me at all then you know that i'm pretty close to my family... now that i'm getting older i worry that i may not be there for my family... but i have been thinking of this all the wrong way... my family would like me to succeed... they would want me to be happy... they would also respect any decision that i make if it made me happy... if i were my family i know that i would not to be the reason for me not being happy in life... yes i'll always be there for my family and my family there for me... but i could never feel disconnected from my family even if we lived across the country... if anything my family would like me to make a family of my own... i believe that separating from your family physically is just a part of growing up... its a part of life that all of us hit sooner or later... i believe before i was not ready to do such a thing... but now that i know that whatever i do... wherever i go... my family will be there... i'm not afraid... today we just drove 4 hours to see my aunt and then 4 hours back the same day we went for her son's baptism... now not just my family went but my dads brothers family and other family from other states flew in for a baptism... it was not even a wedding... this just proves that wherever i am whatever i end up doing in my life my family will be flying/driving/training in to see me... why? because its my family... distance will not reflect how close i am with my family... because i know that any day of the week they would travel that distance to help me... and i would also do the same... so i'm not worried about losing touch... i'm worried that i'm going to get sick of them :p even if they are states away haha...

till then...beLoving...

alone with my thoughts at the lake...

i like to sit by this lake by my house... its got one bench... just one... i feel like sometimes it waits for me... half of the lake is the backyards of houses... i like it when i go there at night... when i can see the lights reflect into the water from the houses... sometimes if i go there late enough i can sit and look up and see the stars... i've never brought anyone there before... i usually go there to collect my thoughts... to help organize whats going on in my head... i think i have an overactive mind... maybe that's my weakness... i think of things too much... i over analyze... there is something about visiting lakes... its peaceful... there was one lake where a good friend of mine took me to by where she lives... it was beautiful... it was everything anyone would want in a lake... a lake where you can sit by and just think... open your heart... and just have the overwhelming calmness of the lake consume you... i go to the lake to escape... it doesn't have to be by myself... its just an escape... i hope that we all have our lake... our place where we go to think... to be alone... because even though i go to the lake alone... somehow i don't feel alone... a small breeze here... the rustle of the trees off in the distance... i guess if i feel as if the world has stopped around me it continues to move... and its a reminder for me that i should not stop as well... but i find myself needing the lake more and more...

till then...beTranquil...

what do you talk about when...

what do you talk about when you've talked about everything else... when you already know their favorite color... what makes them laugh... what makes them cry... touchy subjects... things that get them excited... places that they would want to go... what do you talk about when every question that you think about you already know the answer to... when every question you think about asking involves the future... where every question you think about becomes not just a one person answer but requiring two answers... its not that you have ran out of things to talk about... you've just talked about everything regarding yourselves... but now all you can and want to talk about is each other... questions such as what things have you not done with each other... places you have not gone with each other.... sure i've been to California, New York and other states with my family... but i haven't been there with the person that i would want to be there with... stand in the middle of time square holding her hand... on the coast of one of the beaches in LA... eating and enjoying the white sands of Hawaii with the one and only... its like once you have found the other... you want to relive everything over again to show them and let them know the feelings that you have felt before feelings that you would have wanted to share with them but did not know them yet... all the times you were in a romantic place and thought to yourself... man it would be nice to share it with someone special... that's your chance... and that's only thinking about the places you've been to... not to mention your significant other will have hundreds of places to go... places where they have wished to share those moments with that special someone... i don't think conversation would ever run dry... because all we would talk about after we're done talking about ourselves is talking about the "us" and the "we" and the "our"... we do this because we want the other to be immersed in our lives... to feel what we have felt... to cause a sense of closeness between to hearts... two souls... i forget which philosopher said this but it was something along the lines of "one can only learn through experience" and i believe that's true... so take your significant other to a place that you've been before... maybe its a lake where you like to do your thinking... or a playground where you used to play on when you were little... it does not have to be extravagant because by just bringing them there will make it all worth it...

till then...beImmersed...

saying what you feel...

sometimes i just want to come right out and say it... just say whats on my mind... whats been bothering me... the things that i miss... the things that i want... how this situation makes me feel... i wish i could just tell you... hold both your hands... look straight into your eyes... and just tell you... let you know that i won't let you down... and that the decision that you make will not be regretted... it wont matter where we are... or what we are doing... i believe that our hearts are intertwined no matter what we do... we will always find our way back to each other... i wish you could just come right out and tell me... tell me whats on your mind... so that i know... i'm not afraid to hear what you have to say... because there is not anything that you could say that would make me love you less... nothing you could say would make me want you less... nothing that you could say would change anything about the way i feel about you... i'm here... and i'm ready... i'm not scared... so i don't think you should be either... all we have to do is come right out and say it...


till then...beUnafraid...