short and sweet just like her...

...a picture of you in my wallet...
...behind it a small piece of paper...
...it says "I <3 You!" dated 06-13-07...
...i call out to you...
...maybe you'll hear me...
...maybe you're trying to forget...
...i won't forget...
...do you miss me...

Save 9 Crimes Tonight Mashup

my roommate and i decided to do a mashup (or at least attempt to mashup)
9 crimes by Damien Rice and Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry

hope you like it! =p



till then...beMusical...

"CLEAR!"

i wonder whats in store for me in the future... i wonder if i'll be happy... if i'll be with the girl of my dreams... i wonder how different or the same my life will be... my state of mind... am i easily forgotten... or does the thought of me bring back so much pain... why we put ourselves in this situation i don't know... seeing you... hearing your voice... it sends a rush of energy through my body... as if all this time i've been lying on a hospital operating table... and seeing you... or hearing your voice... talking to you... is each time the doctor says "CLEAR" then a jolt of life rushes through my body... cuz when i'm in those moments i feel so alive... so filled with emotion... so complete... but then as quickly as it comes it goes without any explanation... everything blacks out... and i'm alone again... i'm struggling... fighting in and out of consciousness... maybe eventually you'll be there... finally to hold my hand... to hold it tight... letting me know everything will be okay... and as mysteriously as it ended... it will have begun again... but with any great tragedy we learn... to avoid such things... i'll never stop hoping... wishing... keeping you in my heart... waiting for the spark of love to bring us back to life... please don't loose hope on me... on us... cuz i still haven't... i'm not expecting us to get back together so soon... i just miss my best friend...

random throught process....

school, work, papers, homework, is all i do now... sometimes i wonder what's going on in you're world... i remember a time where i could not imagine you not in my world... but now those thoughts seem to become closer and closer to reality... i wonder what neat things you encounter each day... i wonder if on your bad or stressful day that you remember to maybe take a hot bath to relax... i wonder if you still think about me... if you think about us... if there could ever be an us... i hope you haven't given up... cuz i haven't... unless you already have then i'm sure you have for good reasons... i just hope you make sure to not keep me in the dark... i remember once you told me about someone you once loved... how you told me that he was expecting to get back together with you... but you still help him with his papers n such... i did not think much of it then... we were in love... and falling fast... was he waiting for you like i am now... i have no idea... is the same fate waiting for me as what happened to him... i can't say... although you did tell me you would help me look over my papers or if i had to revise a resume... i wonder what he must have felt... seeing you with me... maybe its different but maybe its not... maybe he couldn't take it anymore and had to find someone else... but see that's were i'm different... something as special as what we had is worth waiting for... its worth this temporary discomfort... maybe i have no idea what i'm talking about... but i can't blame myself... i'm left with nothing... just pictures from the past... calendars... photo albums.... framed pictures... crafts... all sitting in the exact same place six months ago... i don't know or think i'll ever be able to move them from their place... if i would ever move them from where they are now i'd have to lock them away... and only to be opened under the condition that it won't hurt me when i open it... but for now there they are... on my wall... my window sill... contact lens w/solution still in the bathroom next to your headband for when you wash your hair... its not that i'm trying to be creepy... i just don't feel the need to move them... for if i move them i fear that i may loose track of what i'm fighting for... the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words" has never been more true... with all the pictures that are still around having each their own place i remember the memories and it makes me happy... it keeps me going... on my way to class... coming back... i guess i'm still hoping to be able to recapture that again... i just hope that maybe you might feel the same way too sometimes... loving you is the best thing that i have ever done... i just didn't realize that till it was too late... i just hope its not too late for us...

recapturing childhood memories...

bought a toy today... [lets just let the picture do all the talking....]
=] bought it at walmart! my roommates also bought their own respective firearm... lets just say the war has only begun!

never stop playing...

I'm Only Me When I'm With You...

waking up and getting ready to this song... i've been playing it a lot lately.... check it out!



Lyrics:
Friday night beneath the stars
In the field behind your yard
You and I are paintin' pictures in the sky
And sometimes we don't say a thing
Just listen to the crickets sing
Everything I need is right here by my side
And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you

[Chorus]
I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well you drive me crazy half the time
The other half I'm only trying to let you know
That what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you

Just a small town boy and girl
Livin' in a crazy world
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true
And I don't try to hide my tears
My secrets or my deepest fears
Through it all nobody gets me like you do
And you know everything about me
You say that you can't live without me

[Chorus]

When I'm with anybody else, it's so hard to be myself
Only you can tell

[Chorus]

And I'm only me
Who I wanna be
Well, I'm only me when I'm with you
With you
Uh-huh
Yeah

late night studying...

decided to take a break from studying to blog a bit... i'm sitting on the couch with a cup of Arizona green tea and a lean pocket while reading over my notes for my exam tomorrow (Rhetorical Theory)... yeah i know sounds crazy... the background is the soft sounds of Taylor Swift's first album lol... i'm finding it hard to concentrate these days... not that i'm slacking... i guess i just spend more time studying when i could get it done in half the amount of time... in the past week i've had 3 other tests and i have a paper coming up this week... then work for the weekend... i'm getting a feel on how each teacher is going to test me so that's always good... i can adjust my study habits to do better on the exams... its almost winter time... and well holidays are coming up... Halloween... Thanksgiving... Christmas... not really looking forward to the holidays... i guess it would just be more of a downer and a reminder... but well i guess i can make the best of it... it only brings back memories... it doesn't look like this year i'll be coordinating costumes... or making plans for any sort of travel... i've gotten so used to traveling in the past years it feels weird when a break or a holiday comes around and i'm not making any plans to travel... i guess things change... for better or for worse i have no idea... i guess the only good news is that the semester is going by fast... pretty soon midterms will be rolling around and then i'll be looking at scheduling my last semester... i talked with some of my roommates of what i wanted to do after graduating... we all had different answers... although me and one of my roommates had the same idea... the both of us wanted to get out of dekalb and out of Illinois... and well that's what i'm gonna do... not sure how but i'll find a way... that's what its all about anyway right? finding a way... i love my family but i don't think i could ever move back home... i've gotten so used to living on my own... and sometimes i find that weekends are too long to spend with my family... but i'm sure they understand... because its not like i love them any less... well its getting late and i should probably get back to studying if you're reading this i hope you have or have had a good day...

till then...beDriven...

meaningless efforts?

i'm beginning to think...
that maybe you don't like my company anymore...
maybe your feelings have changed... mine haven't...
i'm never surprised with a text from you...
a letter...
a call...
or even an email...
maybe you're trying to write me off...
hoping i'll go away...
maybe you've found someone new...
i hope he's wonderful...
10x more wonderful than i could ever be...
i still think about whats going on between us...
but find myself without answers...
so i've just stopped looking for answers...
all i have now is hope...
hope for us...
i've been told its a waste of time to hope...
i don't care...
i wish i knew what you were hoping for...
if we had the same hopes...
i guess i just miss your friendship is all...

enjoying good company...

its nice to have a buddy... a buddy who picks you up and takes you to class... someone who will share their lunch with you... someone who texts you to make sure you make it to class... although they themselves are always late so you have to save a seat for them... its also nice having people save seats for you... knowing that even tho i'm always getting to class a min before it starts i'll know there's a seat saved for me... before i used to go to class... not talk to anyone... and just leave... but i've found that its easier to get to class when you know people will be waiting for you... or people will be wondering where you are... perhaps grab lunch after classes... or head back to the apartment and cram that little bit before the exam and complain about how screwed we are... its nice... i guess that's mainly the reason i've been finding less and less time to blog... but i'll still try to blog every day mostly because i think that someone somewhere that may or may not know me might be reading this wanting to know more about me granted i hope they aren't creepy stalkers lol... but anyway i think i'm gonna hit the hay... i've also been trying this sleeping at midnight thing... and getting more sleep haha...

goodnight moon...

familiar grounds... (not really making sense...)

its nice talking to an old friend... not just a how's the weather talk... but a good "here's whats going on in my life" talk... i guess its good to feel like your still wanted... even if it is just to bring bumming news... but i'll get over it... small steps right? i guess i can decipher from the conversation that we're still wanting to be in each others lives but at the same time... it feels as if the other would be perfectly content if i "happened" to just fizzle out or dissolve out of their lives... not intentionally of course... where our memories just turn into thoughts of... "well it would not have worked out anyway"... but i believe this won't happen... well... i hope this won't happen... i just think it would be so sad to come face to face and say to each other "well it was fun while it lasted" shake hands and go our separate ways... maybe its just me having a rough day... maybe... the subtle ways i know you still care... the ways you put emphasis on certain words in our conversation... as if to make sure i know that you're hinting at something important... maybe i read into things too much... i'm not sure what you're going through... well i don't even know what i'm going through... i guess we're just getting through... if we find each other at the end of this long dark and cold tunnel then great... if not i'll make sure to make a fire for you at the exit to warm you up... i just hope the memories as our clothing keep us warm through this journey... we're going to need it... well at least i know i will...

yeah i don't know if any of this makes sense... but somehow everything does in my mind... sometimes...

it's just what i do...

how do i do it... i was asked today how do i do the things i do... recently i've come to meet this girl named pam... she's awesome and funny and we have alot in common... she also has a boyfriend but not boyfriend (i'll explain) who lives far away in the UK... she's always talking about how hot other guys are... or how she goes on other "dates" with these other guys... but she assures me nothing goes on... which i believe... i believe that her heart is still very much attached to "UK" (i'll just refer to the guy as UK like she does) we have at least one class every day with each other... sometimes i'll catch her writing down UK's name in her notebook... it's nice... and makes me happy... not just for her but it also gives me hope... because maybe somewhere someone might be writing my name in a notebook... she's told me once that you know who your heart wants by who you think about at night... it's always been the same for me... she was the one who asked me how i do the things i do... we were on our way back to my apartment... i picked her up from class cuz she sometimes takes naps on our living room couch in between classes since she commutes... but she mentioned that she thinks UK's alot like me... and she asked me how i do it... i did not really give a response i sort of just said... well i don't know i guess its just how i am... i'm usually a good judge of what i want to do and sticking to it... i asked her why they didn't, her and UK give each other the "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" title and what she said made sense... she said it would just cause the both of them more pain... but they do still talk when they can and say i love you to each other... and its cute... i really hope they will work things out... and i believe that they will... its hard to watch two people that want to be together but can't... but its harder knowing what it feels like first hand... but people like pam are proof that love can still survive in hearts that are far away... even if he or she is talking about how hot the person is sitting next to them... after all i believe she knows what she wants... and there isnt anything wrong with a little eye candy in the mean time... lol... but more seriously i'm getting used to this... understanding what needs to happen... how i need to act... although i know my heart is ready to just jump in and run away with my feelings... i have to hold it back... to keep it... until the time is perfect... i've always thought that it wouldn't matter if my heart crashed because i could always recover... but i forget that whenever hearts crash its usually two... and having to have someone else feel that pain would be worse... so when the time is perfect... i think i'll know... if not i'm sure my heart will remind me...

you don't win the girl over just once...

people forget (including me) that you just don't win the girl over once... you need to keep winning over her heart... yeah yeah she might say that she'll love you no matter what you do... this was made clear to me recently with well the relationship my parents have... being a communications major i started paying attention to the way the people around me interact with each other... why people act the way they do... and trying to apply that to a theory that has already been discovered... or a theory of my own... now it doesn't have to be extravagant in order for you to win over the love of your life over and over again... its the little things... if there's one thing that my dad taught me (well he's taught me a lot of things most of them without him actually teaching me) was to not be lazy... with anything... yeah we have our lazy days but whenever things needed to get done in the house he would get it done... although it would perhaps take a bit of time... and reminding from my mom but i mean he would get it done... and it would not be in any way half-assed... recently i've seen him doing alot of things for my mom such as painting their room/stairway/hallway/other rooms/house lol... he won't care what color it is cuz that's my mom's department so its kind of nice i guess you could say its my dad winning over my mom again... and as i look back on things that i have observed with their relationship i could see that yeah my dad had done alot of things for my mom not just because she's the boss =p but because he understood that in order to keep his marriage for so long he would have to keep winning over the girl... now i'm not saying that husbands or boyfriends should be a slave to their wives or girlfriends... since women are naturally affectionate... we need to remember to show them in our way that they are special... not just the first time... or when you get into a fight... but also for no reason at all... just as a little reminder... there is no action too small for her to notice because believe me they will notice... and that's what makes all the difference...

exhausted....

you know the feeling when your body feels tired but your mind isnt? well that's what i feel right now... i should prolly go to sleep... slowly getting used to these 8am's.... although i do like the breakfast in the morning :)

why long distance relationships don't work...

long distance relationships work for a while... but eventually one of the two people will have to make a decision... i've learned that there is no substitute for having someone there... they don't even have to be doing anything... by just being there makes all the difference... they physical aspect of relationships play a big part... little things such as having dinner together... or knowing that your special someone will be there when you get home... or being able to meet up with a significant other for a quick lunch or weekend brunch makes it all the difference... they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder... but that's only to a certain extent... being in a long distance relationship is hard... its painful... up until now i did not realize how much one could be hurting the other one... not by being mean... or treating them badly... you could be doing everything perfect... but we all have our breaking points... where the pain just isn't worth it... and that's completely understandable... the pain of missing the one that you love most dear... the pain of wanting to just hug or to fall asleep in their lap after a long day... no words need to be said... just having their presence around makes all the difference... i know now how hard this is... where once i would ask to just hold on for a little bit longer... not realizing that the other has been already holding on for a long time now... does this mean i'm giving up... no... i've made my decision... and i'm sticking to it... because if distance and a short amount of time in my life is standing in the way of me being truly happy... its a chance i'm willing to take... i know now why people do the things they do... how one may be purposely keeping their distance so as to not fall in love and then be stuck in the situation of missing... and longing... for the other... yes i've found comfort with close friends... and for the period of when the two of us are in that constant limbo of keeping contact but not too much so as to stir up feelings which ultimately end up with us falling for each other again only to make each other sad and miserable because of the distance... so for now i'm content with the way things are... this is what needs to happen... yes i'm fully aware that there isn't a 100% chance that things will turn out the way i hope they would after closing the gap... and i know it won't be as simple as starting from where we left off... but once the time and place are right... where we won't have to worry about how starting up a new relationship will make us sad... it will be easier to fall in love all over again... it will just happen... before i thought that maybe perhaps falling in love would never just happen between us... but now i can see that as a possibility... but as for right now i need to focus on the bigger picture... to stop asking so many questions... to live in the now because what we do now counts more than what we think we will do in the future... maybe our hearts are forever intertwined i do not know... maybe our hearts are destined to find love in another... i cannot say... but i can't focus or think about what my heart will be doing in the future... i just have to see what my heart feels today... what it feels right now... and go from there... and maybe one day i'll be there for that special someone... waiting with dinner made... fresh flowers... after a long day at work... and she'll be there for me when i just want to give her a hug... or see a movie... make plans that don't require us to plan weeks in advance... a quote from a song keeps ringing in my head... "what will it take to make or break this hint of love?... we need time, only time..."... i think that's exactly what we need right now... time...

till then...beInsightful...

oh btw... feel free to feed the fish ---> they might be hungry but they don't remember lol

building up the courage...

so i really haven't sang on camera and posted for all the world to see but i guess i'm just going to go for it and not really care about what other people think... hopefully it does not turn into a horrific experience lol anyway keep an eye out for that... won't give any hints yet on what i'm about to play but you bet my first cover is gonna be Taylor Swift lol...

till then...beCourageous...

thoughts from the salwater room...

feelings of excitement... joy... memories i'll never forget... i don't wish for times to be like the way they were before... i just want to find what i had again... sometimes i think that maybe she's waiting for me... because i'll be waiting for her... its a chance that i can't afford not to take... no matter what the road we take to get there... if its long and winding... filled with some sad days... with its mixture of happy days... sometimes i think that the seed of love that we planted in each other together lay dormant in our hearts... awaiting the perfect moment to sprout... because as for now i just need to protect that seed in hopes that she too is also protecting it for the perfect moment... like with life we cannot rush anything... i think we will just know... i hope we will just know... because for now regardless of whats going on between us we both need to remain focused on being happy...



"what will it take to make or break this hint of love?... we need time, only time..."

Labor Day Weekend...

went to St. Louis Missouri to hang out for labor day weekend and had lots of fun =] late night wii with the kids, food all the time, 6 flags glow in the park parades, water rides, coasters, awesome home cooked meals, more wii, got a chilly willy plush character =p cheaper by the dozen in the van, oh and more home cooked meals, it was def on the top of my best weekends ever! but right now i'm tired... drove from St. Louis,MO to Carol Stream, IL then to DeKalb, IL.... alot of driving (oh not counting the 2 hrs i was lost... lol) but the drive never bothered me its the time that you spend with the people at your destination is what matters... there are many ways to get there but once you're there it makes your trip worth it... i'd make the trip a thousand times and then some if it meant being this happy... well i'm super tired so i'll post more about my weekend later but for now just enjoy the nice picture of chilly willy =p i'll get an actual pic up soon =]

till then...beHappy...

not what you would expect....

i heard this song a while back driving in my car and well i liked it alot... then i forgot about it for a while then heard it again... like any song i become fascinated with i looked up the video which caused me to love it even more... its full of things you would not expect... i see it all around me why couples are couples and why she's dating her or why he's dating her that sorta thing... but well i guess this video is sort of telling the guys that don't look like the people on the bags of abercrombie that you don't need to look like that to find an awesome relationship... its the quirks... the little things... the way he or she makes you laugh... or the way they get you or how you get them... that's what makes for a good relationship...



till then...beFallin...

the people around you... (and other things)

its interesting now that i've been meeting new people in my classes... maybe i've had it all wrong all these past couple of years... before i used to not worry or make an effort to making friends in my classes... to just go in... sit down... listen to the lecture... and leave... pay no mind to who the person was sitting next to me... i find it easier to go to class when i know i'll have people there to complain about being in class with me... so in all of my classes i tend to try to make an effort to get to know the other people around me... its nice... to where i can find people who are experiencing the same or similar things as me... not just school related but also non school related... it makes for good conversation and well good friendships... like today a friend from class called me at 9:30am to remind me that we had to look over the notes because there may be a quiz today over some material and even offered to give me a ride as well as some starbucks =] which is also good... it really made my morning although we were a couple minutes late for class but it was all good lol... its these things that i have found that i think i'll need to keep me going when its half way through the semester and mid-terms are coming and homework and readings are coming at me full force... i guess its better so that i don't feel like the only one studying... i get excited for my classes and more excited for hanging out with the people in my classes... it may sound cheesy but i don't care lol...

Car stuffs...

so i need to replace my rotors and brakes, they came in and is just waiting for me to put them on =] i'll try to get before and after pictures so that you'd be able to see my awesome job =] oh! and just got something for the exterior of my car some of you will notice it and some wont i guess you'd have to be a car person or really know my car haha but i'm also excited for that! i'll see if i can post pix of that too =]

Computer stuffs...

so i'm trying to get vista and xp to dual boot on my desktop... bought a video card recently should be getting to me shortly now i can finally do that hybrid sli thing with my motherboard =] i'm tempted to get more ram so that i'd be running on 8gb! lol but we'll see.... money isn't exactly pouring in....

till then...beFilled-IN!

songs to bump in your car...

summer is winding down... and days of driving with your windows down feeling the wind and turning up the radio are getting more scarce every day... but this one song makes for a great way to close off the summer =] and yes you bet i'm gonna bump this in my car i don't care who hears it!




till then...beLoud!

important dates.....

so was hanging out in my sisters room and well she has a white board written on there were different friends of hers saying so and so "was here!" and in the corner she had an important dates section well i thought it was cute and decided to share... i'll just let the picture do the talking xD
till then...beCute...

My Week...

Monday...

the first day of school was quite a ride... being back in class... whispering to the person next to me... i see a lot of familiar faces i think one of my goals this semester is to make new friends... before i always would just go to class and then head straight home not making any effort to making new friends in class... my Monday starts at 8am then ends at 10am then my night class from 6-9pm... i got a text from some close friends that told me that they were in town well in the city not really in town (dekalb) so i drove to Chicago to meet up with them by the lake/field museum... they hopped into my car then i took them out to this nice Indian buffet in Chicago it was called (okay don't laugh) "gaylord" for having such a weird name the food was super awesome! i will def be returning there in the future with other guests or if i ever find myself in the city again... i would have wanted to show them more but with their concert starting at 5pm and my class starting at 6 we called it quits and went our separate ways at around 3 but not before taking awesome pictures by the lake... well the spot where you have the best view of Chicago...

Tuesday...

woke up to some homemade breakfast that my housemate made me... Tuesday wasn't nearly as exciting and hectic as Monday but it was more first days of classes and seeing other people that i knew from the summer only i was their TA but they were my age... next thing i know i'm saving seats for them in class... bought all my books today... at this point i think to myself that this semester isnt going to be so bad... went home did some house cleaning and called it a day...

Wednesday...

again woke up to some homemade breakfast (biscuits and gravy with hash browns and sausage) it was awesome... i scarfed it down and got a ride to my 8am class cuz well it was raining... i usually like the rain but i ONLY don't like the rain when i have to walk to class... school was put into first gear by Wednesday... i was taking notes on my hp mini and talks of quizzes and tests were floating in the air... i didn't mind because alot of the things we were talking anyway i took great interest in...

Thursday...

oh thirsty Thursday... i didn't drink... lol but ended up picking up a friend from the train station... it was nice of her to drop by having flown all the way from china... we then just hung out at my lil's place and talked till about 12:30 at that time i had to start heading home because my 8am was commin fast and well i don't want to start missing class on the first week...

Friday...

went by fast since i end class at 10 and only have my 6-9pm class once a week on Monday so i hung around a bit grabbed lunch with some new found friends from class (i hope that didn't sound so lame lol....) then went home to chill with the family helped a friend out with his brakes but it soon turned into a horrific experience (but that's another blog) then called it a night to prepare for work on the weekend

The Week...

this first week was nice i'm finding myself looking at the school year with a different mentality... i find myself wanting to go to class... and actually enjoying being in class learning the things that make me and keep me interested... i'm shooting for a 3.0 cumulative this semester that's 3 A's and 2 B's yes its doable... easy... not so much... but like i said before.... i'm up to the challenge....

sorry for the non-blogging i'll try to get something down here every day and if not i'll post something like this up =]

till then...beUpdated...

i know i know....

i know i haven't blogged for a while just so busy with school but i'll def make up for it this weekend...

its all Theories...

My Fall Class List!

COMS 302 - Intro to Organizational Communication Theory
COMS 303 - Intro to Interpersonal Communication Theory
COMS 400 - Rhetorical Theory
COMS 404 - Communication Theory
COMS 459 - History of Broadcasting
COMS 495a - Capstone Project: Senior Thesis (with Dr. Doederlein)

busy? yes... excited? yes! impossible? i think NOT!

till then...beDetermined...

streaming consciousness...

its hot... school's about to start... i wonder if it will be filled with new experiences... or will i just be faced with the same thing... i need to get a 6 pack just to say that i've had it before... i hope my classes aren't hard... why do we do the things we do... sometimes things don't make sense... my car needs parts... why am i up this late... not looking forward to working later today... i should probably sleep... why do people over complicate things... is there a simple answer for everything... i feel like we need to simplify our lives... i want to be out of my natural surroundings again... sometimes i feel like i'm running a marathon... but i failed to read the sign of how long it is at the start... i just keep grabbing the water that people give me to keep me going... i don't feel tired... just sometimes confused on why i'm running... i'm not running away from anything... i feel like i'm running towards something... something i can't see or even start to know what it is exactly... perhaps when i get to the finish i'll finally know...

TGIF.... maybe?

work... school... work... school... work... school... my car... work... school... guitar.... work... school.... gotta make that money right... but what for... car parts... computers... school... books... idk... i don't want to feel like i'm going through the motions... when people ask me how my day went i don't want to respond with... same shit different day... so i try to do things that are out of the ordinary every day... even if its just as little as browsing the car care isle to see what new waxes i could buy for my car... i guess life is all about you making each day different from the last... if i ever responded "same shit different day"... that would only mean that its cuz i aloud it to be that way...

till then...beSpontaneous...

got my white shoes!

sooo i got my white shoes that i wanted =] just thought i'd share! this video made me want to get them lol (look at their shoes)
oh and did i mention they were 10 bucks?! lol yay for me!

she was mine...

came across this song on youtube and it reminded me of relationships and how sometimes distance is a huge obstacle to overcome... sometimes i wonder if love can really heal all... or if love can really cloes the gap... or is there some things that love can't mend... because if there's love then things like distance should not be things that can't be overcome... sometimes i wish i could rewind all the way back to where i'm sitting there in this big auditorium where tables are set up like a huge dinner where i would pass her the heart shaped cheesecake... i'd do alot of things differently... but then at the same time i would not want to change a thing that happened... i guess the only thing i'm hoping for is to be able to sit across the table... catch her eye once more... and make sure she gets the heart shaped cheesecake... because little did i know that i would not only be giving her cheese cake but my heart as well... i'm not expecting it back... because i know its in good hands...

[lyrics]
So i hopped on a train three in the afternoon
I don't know when i'm coming back,
but i hope that it's soon
see, i never thought (never thought)
That i'd have to leave your side (your side)

It's only physically
but you know that you will be on my mind
Twenty-four hours at a time
Cause in my eyes, you were mine (you were mine)

[chorus]
No matter where you go, i won't be very far
Cause in my head i'll be right there where you are
Cause love is no distance baby
Love, love is has distance baby
No, not when it comes to you and me

See, she wrote me a letter, said the weather wasn't better
But she says that she was doing fine
"i want to see you face to face", that's what she wrote to me that day
And i knew that it was all a sign
So i wrote back with this song,
promise it won't be too long
Wann make up for all our lost time
Cause in my eyes, you were mine (you were mine)

[chorus]

So i'm going through these boxes, my life's gone off track
It's been three years, she hasn't written back
But in my eyes, she's still mine
And i know it sounds so stupid to be waiting this long
But i'm still in love, and i know i'm not wrong
Cause in my eyes, she was mine

[chorus 2x]

till then...beHopeful...

the first to wish me a happy birthday...

so 3 days before my birthday i get a letter in the mail... from southwest... i guess they know my birthday... i miss flying on a plane... southwest has always been good to me... i guess it's what puts them over the others... and they fly to Missouri =p anyway check it out!

the perfect present...

what do you get someone that's super hard to shop for? gadgets of course! and well i'll just say that i got these as a present =] they came in the mail and i can already see the possibilities of what i can fix! i guess you could say i'm a bit of a handy man and a gadget freak and well these gadgets just totally made my day (birthday =p rather) haha i'm already thinking of the best places to put them in the car on my bag on my keys (well not all on my keys cuz that would make for very heavy keys not to mention bulky lol) but all the gadgets that i have and well the things that need a little fix-it around me will now be saved! now i already own the tool thats pictured all the way to the right and its been SUPER useful with opening packages, bottles, cutting open blister packs (i actually used that tool to open my new tool set lol talk about irony) but now i have a spare in the case if it breaks (which i don't think it will its swiss made! lol) these handy tools look and feel awesome, quality is nice and if you ever see a pack of these anywhere i would recommend you picking one up for yourself it will be totally worth it especially if you're a geek/mr.fixit like me =] what can i say i love them!

Another Day... Just Breathe...

this song makes me feel relaxed... it reminds me of how days are just a small part of our lives and sometimes we just gotta make it through the day... i imagine listening to this song in the car... or in my room with my headphones on... so as to drown out everything around me... just enjoy the calming tones... but what i like most about this song is that we still have another day and we have to remember to breathe... to take in life for that day... this song just popped into my head... i don't know why... but funny that it did on my birthday... i'm not that excited... but then again i didn't get my hopes up... so that's always good right... i still have the whole day left of my birthday... and i bet its just going to be another day... i don't say that in a bad way... just what i'd want...

[Breathe - Telepopmusik]

Departures and Arrivals...

so today i was with my parents at midway airport waiting for our relatives to get in and i guess for some reason we did not have any communication between them... so we just kept circling the arrivals and departures... so trying to make this sound not creepy i started to people watch... just see what people were doing... i noticed alot of couples giving their loved ones kisses and hugs behind their vehicles as they helped them unload their luggage... then when we would circle down toward the arrivals i'd see eager loved ones some with flowers in hand... others looking as if they were trying to find a diamond in the rough... couples running toward each other exploding with happiness... after seeing both it brought back so many memories... so many good memories... i could feel how those people felt... how they did not want to let go... how they were eagerly waiting for the one they loved... while circling through the airport my mom and dad got into a slight argument... it made it quite awkward... but after he dropped my mom off to look for our guests my dad said to "try to not make little things into big problems, it will help you alot in the future" and its something that i've generally lived by but hearing it from him made it more true and he was right... shortly after things were the same again between my parents... because what happened wasn't a big deal and it shouldn't be made into a big deal... love won that fight... and i hope by keeping these things in mind that love will also help me stay slow to anger... and to cause me to be rich in patience... i guess right now i'm just at the arrival terminal... with tulips in hand behind my back... hopefully my princess's flight isn't too delayed...

till then...bePatient... and don't sweat the small stuff =p

time and place...

a scent that catches your nose... a comment that someone says... a place that you've been... or even things you see around you... that bring back a mountain of memories... its as if your memories are rewound in your head then only the most memorable parts are played back... it always makes me smile... but then its quickly followed by a sigh of how things are so different now... i haven't lost hope... and i never will... i know things like this take a long time... i just need to focus on the larger picture... the bigger goals ahead... i believe that there will come a place and time to where everything will just feel right... i'll keep waiting for that time... but for now... baby steps...

"The Lake House"
- "Pick a place. I'll Be There, I Promise"

thinkers...

if you're a thinker like me you'll be constantly be thinking about every and any possible answer to solve the problem that you're in... now this may sound like a strength but could it be possibly be thought of as a weakness... perhaps not dealing with a situation may be the best possible answer to solving the situation... but i guess nature wiring me as a thinker makes me think completely otherwise... why do some people chose to push issues that are clearly lingering... i guess waiting for the dust to settle is a way of looking at it... but if the dust settles completely we sometimes forget what our goal is... or maybe once the dust completely settles we will know what we want or what the answer is because it will be clear... and in front of us... if you don't consider yourself a thinker... you should try it out... there is a world of things you can find out about yourself...

till then...beThoughtful...

a piece of their minds...

i read a couple blogs and subscribe to others and well i always like to share what i read with others because for some reason i get this urge to share that maybe the people that read my blog will also find it touching or moving...

well the first post that i read is a good reminder to keep life simple try not to over think things or make things more complicated than they actually are because most of the time what you're looking for is right in front of your face...

A Sunny Storm : Right in Front of You

the second post that i read gave me the feeling as if i was sitting there breathing with him... its sort of a reminder to only take in the good things in life... and to just release the bad things... because these days people like to bottle up things inside until they explode... lets remember to breathe and just let go of the things that are less important...

All Things Chill > The Art Of Breathing

its nice to remember to see other perspectives on things because if we stick with what one person says or take the advice of just one person i believe we would sell our self short or even perhaps not allow us to experience something that we did not know we could...

till then...beOpen-Minded...

incomplete...

so last June my cousin well not really my cousin but i've known him so long he's practically my cousin played a song that he wrote called incomplete at my house... i almost cried... no i would be lying if i said that i didn't tear up... i've become somewhat drawn to the lyrics of songs and his lyrics just hit me so hard... i could tell that he has felt what i have felt by just hearing those lyrics... you can't write like this without experiencing it first hand... well here it is and its wonderful... check out the lyrics below... its what i've been trying to explain how i feel but its still only the beginning of how i feel... i hope you enjoy it as much as i do...

Lyrics

so when u comin back to me/i've lost so much/and i can't go back to where things used to be/can't u see i've fallen/like a torch without a flame/without u it ain't the same/like these flowers without a vase/oh how i long to see ur pretty face

the day that we first met/how can i forget/how our souls connect/and when i heard ur voice/the angels up above came down to rejoice/like the moon without the stars to shine brightly from afar/like a city without no street/my life without u would be incomplete

chorus: you'll always be/you'll always be the sun in the sky/when my world comes crashin' by/ your're always near/ you'll always be near in my heart/but this distance it just tears me apart

how the time has passed us by/still we try to keep the flame alive/but ur just so far away/gotta connect before we're old and gray/like a field without the rain without u it's causin' pain/like these words without this song/to prove my love for u is oh so strong (chorus)

so when u comin' back to me

till then... bePassionate...

Lights has got a new video!

this is her newest video for her new song "saviour"

i love the lyrics, i love all of the underlying hidden meanings, and i love her style so check it out! i'm sure you'll love it too...
"Saviour" Music Video

i <3 LIGHTS

the day i was born...

so yesterday was my sisters 16th birthday... i remember my 16th birthday... kind of... i had a bunch of my friends over and it was fun... don't remember what we did... i think i just liked being around my friends and family... you know people who cared about you... its getting closer and closer to my 22nd birthday... and well i guess you could say i'm not the least bit excited... is it wrong for me to just hope its goes by like any other day... i don't know... i know what i'll be wishing for... i think i'll pre-wish before my birthday... the only thing that i want for my birthday isn't of any monetary value... you can't make it or find it anywhere... i just want to be surrounded by the people who care about me... i want to have the people that will take enough effort to hang out with me even for one day just because they believe that birthdays are a big deal even tho i don't... no presents... just themselves... perhaps some of my close friends have forgotten... and the last thing that i want is a generic happy birthday text... people who really care will call and people who care the most will be there... perhaps i'm just expecting too much... birthdays are overrated anyway... its just another year... one step closer to cheaper insurance... i don't know why when i was a kid looking forward to my birthday was the most exciting thing ever... but now why do i feel like i could care less if it came at all...

i found love... kind of...

a couple of days ago when i was closing at Michael's, in one of the framing aisles i saw a green basket and inside it was wooden letters that made the word love... now i thought it was interesting... and trust me i did not set this up in any way it was just there out of its place by the rest of the frames... i wasn't expecting to find it there... and i wasn't looking for it... it sort of just caught me by surprise... and it was very ironic... i guess it was a reminder or something... i have no idea... but maybe someone or something's trying to tell me something... so yeah i get it... love will come when i least expect it... it was irony... right in front of my face and i think it could not have been more clear... now i can only hope to find it like this for real... i kind of chuckled to myself when i found it like this... and thought to myself... now if i could only do this in real life haha... well the time will com and when it does it will be amazing...till then...beHopeful...

waking up early...

ok for some reason i woke up at 6am today... weird i know... and ironic cuz i don't have school anymore... well for 2 weeks i mean... why did i wake up so early... i have no idea... songs will randomly pop into my head at random times... and this morning... at 6am... the song "i wanna be with you" by Mandy Moore just popped into my head... does it reflect the way i feel... maybe... or is it just because we saw the movie center stage in the class that i teacher assist in... who knows... perhaps a bit of both... i don't know... now i've been awake for almost 2 hours and thinking if i should just go back to sleep or stick it out for the rest of the day... oh man... also twitter has been acting strange lately and i don't like it lol... hopefully it comes back to its normal functioning self...

oh ya here's the video just in case you wanted to hear the song in my head...

end of summer...

so i'm finally done with classes... just hanging out with friends... no school for 2 weeks then its back to school again but i guess that's good... working every weekend... and for the next week i'm workin close to 40 hours so that should be fun... i guess its money right... oh well... not that excited about turning 22 i mean i guess its just another year... it wet by so fast... makes me want to slow things down so that i can remember them and enjoy the times that were great... but at the same time i don't want to slow down at this point... just because i've heard and i feel like my last year at school will go by super fast... i'm sure i'll find some way to keep myself occupied... if you read this and know me hit me up :) i'm sure we'll find something to do!

why is Kansas City Following me?!

okay so checked my email today and i'll get random people following me on twitter but i mean out of all things i get this...cool but weird... but cool! i guess i'll be up to date now on the new "hip" places in Kansas City lol... yes i just said hip... oh well...

till then...beSurprised...

have a nice day...

at the office... at your apartment... at your house... at your school... in class... in your cubicle... on your bed... your couch... your desk... where ever you are... have a nice day :)

and remember to smile! why? why not?!

XD

planning the future...

well today i looked over my fall schedule and well if i said next semester is gonna be easy i'd be lying... but i'm actually excited to continue and finish my school i guess this year is going to go by fast hopefully... am i going to hate it... probably... but after this its going to be the last year that i live in my apartment... last year to enjoy the down time... before i start my life... its funny how much planning becomes more and more important when we get older... am i scared... sure... but i'm more than ready to tackle the hell out of it...

till then...beStrong...

they call her love...

She is Love and she's all I need...

why do i feel like i need to write...

i don't know... perhaps its my way of dumping things out on "paper"... to where i know that someone out there is reading this and can perhaps relate to me... or can share similar experiences with me... i don't know... why do we always make situations more complicated than they really are... i wish for every complicated situation both parties could just confront each other and tell the other whats on their mind and what causes the awkward/uneasy/not having any idea whats going on feeling... i've always been on to bring up situations like that because i feel like it saves the two people alot of time... it saves time that could potentially be wasting... i say potentially because sometimes all they need is time but you can't no for sure if you don't talk about it... its hard because you see where you want to be... where you want to end up... what would make you happy... but don't know how to get there... i think its because we clutter up our thoughts with many things... i myself am guilty of this but i think i need to start cleaning up the mess and the garbage that has been lingering... then maybe i can start working my way towards what makes me happy... i know i say this now but who knows... i don't even know if whoever reads this actually understands what i'm saying... or if they are just laughing at my reasoning... well take it for what its worth... there are many paths to the finish... i guess i'm just taking the longest path...

edit: oh almost forgot... don't forget to feed my fish they are looking a bit hungry...

its the feeling you get when...

you are waiting for a firework to explode...
you drop something and are watching it before it hits the ground...
you wait to see if someone is guilty or not guilty...
your about to be put in a situation that could be potentially awkward...
you are about to ask someone on a first date...
you are staring at the phone because you wonder if he/she will call you...
you don't know what to do... because either could mess everything up...

ugh... doing nothing is hard... i can't just do nothing... i need something to happen... i need to do something... but why do i feel like that's the wrong thing to do... i hate it when both options have equal valid points... it makes things oh so much easier...

last week...

well its the last week of school then i've got nothing after that for 2 weeks... then fall semester begins on the 24th... i could always fill up that time with giving my baby some well deserved love... just bought her about $400+ worth of new things... i'm sure she'll appreciate it... i'll just have to help her put it all on... oh yeah and this months birthdays... 3 of my friends... my sister... friends moms birthday... and well mine... but other than that there isn't much going on... i still haven't gotten a present for my sister... well because i think i'm splitting it between my other sister... anyway i think the best presents are just having your closest friends and family around you... things you can't put a monetary value on are the most important... so i got a review session that i have to conduct in about an hour for the class that i TA... the students final is coming up soon since this is the last week... i thought the summer would go by so slow... but i guess i made it through the boring summer somehow... hopefully this upcoming fall semester will bring new surprises... as well as new experiences... and even new people... i'm a people person what can i say... =]

till then...beReflective...

Roadtrip Thoughts...

this weekend was fun... i loved the random dance parties in the living room... enjoying meals around the table as well as games... really felt at home... its nice... hung out in places that i only once heard about but then got to experience... its always fun experiencing and going to new places... now i don't want to sound like a downer... but on the way home i guess having alone time... reality hits in again... school... work... everything... i wonder... how can love just "happen"... especially since there is already love there... i don't know if i should keep knocking on loves door... for once i'd want love to tap me on the shoulder... i'd accept it with open arms... i don't know why or what some people are waiting for... sometimes when there is a good thing in front of them they don't realize its right there and if they want it... its theirs forever... no need for magic.. no need to not look for it since its right there... there isn't a need to wonder if you'll be loved back... especially if there was once love... for those of you that have love waiting for you right out side your door... why don't you invite it in... tell it to take off its shoes... and make itself at home... i think sometimes the best thing to do is nothing... and that's what i'm doing... and that's what i will continue to do... nothing... because i've applied for love one too many times and i'm tired of waiting in line to continually pick up the application just to get the stamp of rejection... if love wants me then love is just going to have to let me know... am i bitter or angry... no... i could never be... how could i be... i guess all i can count on is love... disagree with me if you want... there are equal number of contradictions to love... i guess what do i know... i'm helplessly in love... and she probably doesn't realize... or maybe along with love i am blind...

long but wonderful day/night...

so my TA gig was canceled this morning gave me time to pack and be ready to head out so after class i picked up a sweet gift for a sweet persons birthday and headed off to Columbia... the drive gets easier and easier every time i do it... its almost therapeutic... having time to think... its nice... or just enjoying nature even tho an expressway has been slammed in the center of it but its nice... i know i'm in Missouri when i see that sign i love it says... "speed limit 70 mph" then i just gun it haha... but all in all i had a nice night... ate good food... met new people... hung out... felt relaxed... and just chilled... its nice just to kick it when you don't have any plans to do anything... kainda just going wherever and doing whatever... late night kinko runs at 3am are nice as well as wal-mart runs at 4am to prepare for an awesome breakfast (that i'm not making) which makes it more special! but i'm beat... not even sure if i'm going to sleep yet but hey i was just told sleep is for the weak... i remember during my freshman year my roommate and i used to stay up super late and we had that exact saying written on our dry erase board which was on our door that was always open haha... oh those were the days... i'm always excited and always down for new experiences... and new things...

till then...beAdventurous...

long drives...

long drives are nice... its just me and my baby out on the open road... hearing the her as she softly hums past 4k rpm... she's always screaming for more i can feel it... i have to keep holding back just so that the both of us don't get carried away... sometimes i purposely put on the cruise control just so that i'm not tempted to really give it to her... but its a good feeling... its as if we are one... she's looking her best... and i've taken the best care for her... i know this sounds lame to some people but to me it makes sense... its a different kind of love... a love that will truly never die...

driving also gives me a lot of time to think... to sing... and to just wonder... wonder about the future... whats going to happen to me... i also wonder where other people are going... i don't find myself constantly asking if i'm there yet... because i know when i'll get there and i know these days we don't get a lot of alone time... well some of us i've been getting alot of alone time but the time in my car is different... since i'm going 85mph down the interstate where i can't be interrupted by anyone... i'm excited...

but then again a part of me wouldn't mind if the drive was a few hours shorter =p

till then...beContent...

sleepless nights...

ugh what time is it... spent most of my night breathing in the night air... surfing the net for car parts... i need new rotors and brake pads... hungry so made a sandwich... tried to sleep... a couple hours later still not asleep... turned my computer on and off about 3 times... decided to blog... maybe ambient noise will help... turn on a fan... leave the tv on... nothing... sometimes sleep just decides not to come i guess... wished a friend a happy birthday at 5:30am... that should be something nice to wake up to... thought about doing push ups and sit ups to tire me out... but i'm lazy... makes no sense right... watching cnn... hopefully boring news will bore me to sleep... perhaps some infomercials will do the trick... but i always get stuck watching them... oh man an infomercial for the swivel sweeper just came on... i'm stuck... hopefully sleep comes soon...

oh don't forget to feed my fish -----> thanks =p

till then...beSleepy...

Lyrics that stick out in my head...

these days the only place i listen to music is on the road... going to and from home... and anytime i find myself driving for more than 5 min i listen to my Zune and i've always done this but lyrics have stuck in my head for some reason... good or bad i have no idea they just seem to place a bookmark in there with out me knowing... so just thought i'd put some down...

Teddy Geiger - Love Is A Marathon

cause love is a marathon
you can't always get tired so fast of everyone
slow down and pace yourself
'cause when it's good
its a long open road

Lights - Saviour

i'm a bit of a manic when it's not as i plan it
cause i start losing my head and then i get up in a panic
remember when we were kids and always knew when to quit it
are we denying a crisis or are we scared of admitting it?

i don't want to know

i just want to run to you
and break off the chains, and throw them away
i just want to be so much
and shake off the dust that turned me to rust
sooner than later, i need a saviour, i need a saviour

Taylor Swift - Fearless

and i don't know how it gets better than this
you take my had and drag me headfirst, fearless
and i don't know why but with you i dance
in a storm in my best dress, fearless (yes i'd wear a dress =p)

Owl City - The Saltwater Room

Time together is just never quite enough
When you and i are alone, i've never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what i call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
All the time, all the time

its interesting how lyrics are, we really don't think about them or read them in print to find what their meaning is... so i guess i've been obsessed with looking up lyrics and reading them... you can really relate to the artist and what might have inspired them to write what they wrote... still my favorite song has been the saltwater room by owl city... its always been my favorite but after reading the lyrics its become my most favorite song now...

try looking at some lyrics of your favorite songs... i bet some of them will surprise you!

till then...beCurious... (like me!)

some really RANDOM things about me...

i'm a roman catholic... i don't like it when people walk slow in front of me... i like traveling... i love driving as well as my car... i can spend a whole weekend detailing my car... i have 3 sisters... i'm a Leo... i can fix just about anything given enough time... i'm a problem solver/outside of the box thinker... i enjoy a nice rum and coke... or a long island iced tea... i believe that no excuse is too little for a celebration... i'm a hopeless romantic... play the guitar... somewhat of a computer geek... ok just a geek in general... i'm very friendly... will do anything for love... easy going... would like to be more spontaneous but i'm pretty spontaneous already... although spontaneous i understand the importance of planning... i program a little... i don't like to read books... i like to read magazines and articles online... i love select television comedy shows... i love surprises... but hate bad surprises... i've cried in "a walk to remember" , "Wall-E" , and a bunch of other romantic/date movies (hence hopeless romantic.. ugh)... i like eating mixed nuts... yogurt... and could probably become a vegetarian if i did not love chicken so much... as well as the very occasional steak... i like baked snacks over fried snacks like goldfish over chips... i like veggie dip and broccoli over chips... my dream car is a Honda NSX... i wish i was in a band... i like blogging... i work at michaels as a certified custom framer... whatever that is... full time student... strawberries are the only fruit with the seeds on the outside... and i like giving gifts because nothing makes me more happy than other people being happy...

till then...beRandom...

family's becoming busier...

i've noticed that since my sisters and i are getting older now its getting harder and harder to plan something when we are all together each weekend we all have something or at least one of us has something to do... its not a bad thing its just something i noticed... i'm either going somewhere that weekend... or my sister has some concert or some charity benefit to go too... my other sister has some college obligation such as moving in or its orientation or its visiting colleges but she's chosen one and she'll be there soon... its funny cuz my parents aren't making a big deal of my sister leaving for college well cuz she's the second one to go... lol i'm gonna feel sorry for my youngest sister when she goes off to college but then again my parents might hold on to her the longest since she's the last one to live with them... other than me when they did not want to let me go when i first moved out but they knew i had to... its weird seeing my sisters going to college i wonder if they may make the same mistakes as i did... i wonder if they will get too caught up in the "college experience" well i guess i turned out ok... so i think they will be fine... and besides they have something that i didn't have... someone older to knock some sense into them... but bottom line is that they gotta learn by making their own mistakes... my dad used to tell me things with the intent of having me not make those same mistakes but some of that isn't true because i have totally done things that he has told me to steer clear of... but i mean i've learned from them and that's most important right... gah almost time for work... gotta make that money... even though i'm not quite sure what i'm saving it for... i guess a rainy day... we'll see...

till then...beObservant...

Every Day...

so i came across this video while browsing through some of Lights music and i saw that she was featured in a band called Ten Second Epic... i instantly fell in love with the song... reminding me that every day brings new things, new chances, new opportunities, and well just another day to enjoy life...the video is cool so i hope you like it too... [lyrics below]



You said, there's no way the days should feel this short
As soon as one ends, the other starts
You said, all day I feel you're playing a part
When all you ever want to do is leave a mark

[chorus]
Every day, another one wasted
Every day, you get up and face it
Every day is a chance for redemption
Every day, every day

You said, time moves fast but you're still staying in park
As every chance takes off, you don't depart
But it's just the defense
For all the moments that name and define what we do
Well how about you?
We're all scared of breaking though

[chorus 2x]

There's gotta be that something more that gets me through the night
I'm out of touch, it's obvious
I'm out of place and over this
There's gotta be that change that takes my path from wrong to right

You said life is way too short
As soon as one ends, another starts

[chorus 3x]

it looks like it's about to rain...

this summer has gone by a faster than i expected... even though i thought it would have gone a lot slower... i've learned a lot this summer... not just from the classes and being at school... but i guess as a person... i mean i've always known a lot about myself because i find myself fascinated with self discovery... what can i say... i'm a thinker... i have a feeling that perhaps this up coming year will blow by me like the metra or amtrack when i used to wait at train stations... whenever i'm on buses or trains and planes i always wonder where people are going... home to their families... maybe surprising their girlfriends or boyfriends... a business trip... or maybe they just bought a one way ticket to start somewhere new... who knows... i wonder now the next time i'm on a bus or a plane or a train where i'll be going... will it be a one way ticket... an important business meeting... seeing my special someone... i guess you could say i like to travel... and i'm accustomed to traveling... you name it i've done it... if it has wheels or wings i've taken it... i've been to so many places in America... mostly because of my family... having them scattered all over... New York.... California... San Francisco... New Jersey... Sand Diego... Maine... Florida... Texas... Ohio... Missouri... and other places that i know will come up to me later... not really sure where i was going with that... but its been pretty boring in DeKalb but somehow although boring time has passed quite quickly... i guess time is relative... time does not really matter... well it matters but its not as important with interpersonal relations... how long you've known someone... how long you've been dating your girlfriend or boyfriend... because you can talk to someone for 1 hour and feel like you have known them for years... and see someone every day and not even know what their favorite color is... their likes or dislikes... i feel like i have a good grasp on the people that i know... i always try to make it a point to get to know people for longer than i actually know them... it makes for the basis of good friendships... relationships... and i guess people now moving so fast paced don't really do that anymore... who knows... classes are about to end... got about 2 weeks left... then i think the weeks of no school before school will drag the longest... hopefully i'll be able to keep myself buried in work... and working on my car... and working out... maybe if i pile it on i won't have time to worry about other things...

new stuffs on my blog!

ok yeah its not that exciting lol i just added a random comments section for anyone to post up anything about anything... it may be about me, a recent post, if you're hungry, pretty much anything :) oh and if you scroll down a bit more you can feed my fish! because they are constantly wondering if there's food! so make sure to give them some :) oh! also under each post there is a share button if you are so inclined to share it with other people lol anyway yes i am bored and yes i know that you could have found out those things on your own but hey its 3 am and i'm not sleepy in an empty house with nothing to do soooo give me a break! =p

till then...beRandom...

empty house...

all i hear is the constant flow of water from the fish tank... the slight hum from my laptop cooling fan... and other than that.... nothing... i think now is the time where i need to be patient more than ever... things have been thrown into perspective for me... i can sort of see what needs to be done... at what pace i need to be moving at... and can only hope that whatever happens down the road will ultimately make me happy... how i hate being in school right now... i feel as if i'm in a vice... and school just won't let go of me... i'm screaming at it to let me live my life... i'm desperately trying to pick the lock out of the cell that i'm in... but just like in prison... you can be put on paroll or let out early with good behavior... and thats what i need to do... so far i've been doing well... getting good grades... keeping up with my studies... i can't wait for it to be over... soon enough... there will be no more tests... no more quizzes... no more reading assignments... only reading for fun... everything will be for making my life better... i want to be that guy who drives home to his special someone... pick up flowers for the vase on the dinner table every monday so that we could come home to the sight and smell of fresh flowers every day... cook dinner for two every night instead of cooking for one... watch our favorite sitcoms and then just pass out on the couch... but first things first... i can't do or start any of that if i'm still in school... so for now i just gotta play by the rules... hopefully my last year goes by faster than i can imagine...

till then...beFulfilled...

the one that sticks out...

i'm sure we have felt that feeling... where we look out into the world... we have friends... family... and out other significant others... but you have one person that for all of the reasons in the world glows whenever your eyes pass across them... its like standing against the wall at your high school dance... and you catch a glimpse of your high school crush walking towards you you get nervous... and suddenly tremendously shy... until you realize she's just walking over to her boyfriend that's standing next to you... its like that but without the puppy love... its seeing that person that you know will glow forever in your heart... its not a crush... its way more than that... i see the glowing all the time... even if its out of the corner of my eye... its always there... and i believe it will always be there... i don't think anyone else could shine as bright... call me cliche if you want... its the truth... i wonder if i glow... so bright that her eyes can't be taken off mine... that the light of me is always there even in the corners of her eyes... well i guess perhaps i will know someday... i would not want either of us to be "the one that got away" to eachother...

yes i agree it's like a present...

in response to A Sunny Storm's : It's like a present entry... just reading your post made me smile... it made me think about the time when i first felt that way... it was like getting an unexpected gift... i feel like every moment that we keep gets placed into a box and put on the shelves of our heart... but i find myself constantly looking back and picking out old boxes... blowing off the dust that has settled on some of them... yes they still make me happy and grateful for what i remember to be inside them... but there just isn't anything like adding to your collection... i always loved having things to place into new boxes... yeah its nice looking at old presents but they def are not the real thing... and yes not all the things in my boxes give me warm fuzzy feelings but learned from them i have... sometimes i think some of the boxes that seem to be worn out at the corners from being handled too much should be locked... for when i really need it...

just one of those days...

sure you have one of those days... but what if one of those days comes more frequent... there's one thing that i've noticed but i find it easier to blog when there are things on my mind... when there are things that bother me... these days it seems like there is always something on my mind... and that there is always something bothering me... my summer has come and gone so fast i did not even realize that its almost august... nothing special happened to me today... today's like any other day... i set my alarm at 8am even tho i get up uat 10 well because so that i could greet a friend good morning but now i just hit the snooze until 9:45 i don't think it would make any difference if my morning cheer was there or not... but then i'm a teacher assistant from 11-12:15 then i have my computer programming class from 12:30-1:45 but after that i get hungry so i make food and drink a protein shake getting ready for my 3:30 or 4 o'clock workout i try to stay at the gym for about 2 hours... i mean well cuz its good for me and plus it just kills more time in the day... lately i've been having that feeling of just getting through the day... not really enjoying the day... then i'll go home eat a after workout snack... hop in the shower... then watch episodes from my favorite sitcoms... then purposely lose track of time then call it a night when i pass out... sometimes its at 12 sometimes its at 2... then i do it all over again the next day... on the weekends i work... to make money... to save... for nothing in particular... just to save... then the week starts and i get a think to myself maybe this will be the week that's unlike any of the other weeks... but usually by Monday night i get to grips with myself... and just focus on what i'm going to do the next day... but hey what can i say... its just one of those days right?

till then...beSpontaneous...

I Love You...

you'll notice that this video was shot all in Chicago which is my hometown city and well it strikes a chord in my life as well as my heart... by watching this video i notice many places that i've been and had similar experiences with the people in the video so i guess i can relate... but then again i guess we all can relate... Tom (lead singer of plain white t's) and Angie met in Chicago :) it says that at the end but thought i'd share it now...



if only it were easy as 1,2,3,4...

you belong with me...

i love this song and i love this guys covers so check it out! it makes me happy :)



i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did :)

till then...you-belong-with-me...