just one of those days...

sure you have one of those days... but what if one of those days comes more frequent... there's one thing that i've noticed but i find it easier to blog when there are things on my mind... when there are things that bother me... these days it seems like there is always something on my mind... and that there is always something bothering me... my summer has come and gone so fast i did not even realize that its almost august... nothing special happened to me today... today's like any other day... i set my alarm at 8am even tho i get up uat 10 well because so that i could greet a friend good morning but now i just hit the snooze until 9:45 i don't think it would make any difference if my morning cheer was there or not... but then i'm a teacher assistant from 11-12:15 then i have my computer programming class from 12:30-1:45 but after that i get hungry so i make food and drink a protein shake getting ready for my 3:30 or 4 o'clock workout i try to stay at the gym for about 2 hours... i mean well cuz its good for me and plus it just kills more time in the day... lately i've been having that feeling of just getting through the day... not really enjoying the day... then i'll go home eat a after workout snack... hop in the shower... then watch episodes from my favorite sitcoms... then purposely lose track of time then call it a night when i pass out... sometimes its at 12 sometimes its at 2... then i do it all over again the next day... on the weekends i work... to make money... to save... for nothing in particular... just to save... then the week starts and i get a think to myself maybe this will be the week that's unlike any of the other weeks... but usually by Monday night i get to grips with myself... and just focus on what i'm going to do the next day... but hey what can i say... its just one of those days right?

till then...beSpontaneous...

I Love You...

you'll notice that this video was shot all in Chicago which is my hometown city and well it strikes a chord in my life as well as my heart... by watching this video i notice many places that i've been and had similar experiences with the people in the video so i guess i can relate... but then again i guess we all can relate... Tom (lead singer of plain white t's) and Angie met in Chicago :) it says that at the end but thought i'd share it now...



if only it were easy as 1,2,3,4...

you belong with me...

i love this song and i love this guys covers so check it out! it makes me happy :)



i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did :)

till then...you-belong-with-me...

what are we waiting for?

its interesting how people find each other... may it be in the grocery store and they find out that they like the same cereal... or perhaps a good conversation about life and music and other things of that sort... i feel for the people who are trying to find love out there... when all they want is someone who will text them just to say hey... or i miss you... someone that goes above and beyond for them... someone who cares for them so much because they can feel how much the other compliments them... trust me i feel for you... sometimes i wish that in the morning when i wake up i'd have a text waiting from someone who i really care about... or a missed call after getting out of the rec... my phone has been dead lately and i mean yeah i can text or call other people but its not the same... it also sucks how that when you're in a relationship everyone likes you and is interested in you but then the moment you get out of one its as if they don't even know you... they don't even have to know that you're not in a relationship... i think its some kind of ora that people who are single give off... but i mean i've had my fair share of late night convos that last till the morning... texts that tell me about your day and your accomplishments... and even the "what you up to?" texts... i don't think there should ever be a reason when you want to contact someone... you should just do it... and not worry so much on what the other person might think... maybe because my body is sore from working out or i'm just emotionally drained... but we all have our limits... sometimes we need to take some time to recharge... the length of that recharge i guess depends on how drained you are... i'm pretty drained... tired of fighting... tired of worrying... tired of being there... so i'm just going to be... just be myself... do my own thing... the things that make me happy... i guess if love is meant to find me again it will... maybe with someone new who knows... i guess i can't decide that... and well if my love is out there whoever you may be happens to read this or maybe not even know about me just yet... i would just like to say one thing to her... i'm right here, i'm real, and i will give you my all, so what are you waiting for... but i guess we can only hope right?

till then...beWishful...

Dangerous...

you may say... our lives have changed... but baby i promise that we're still the same... and the leaves are falling quicker... like a rain drop in the spring... i think its your love that i cannot believe... give me attention... give me some time... you see your love is just so dangerous it should be a crime... to notice when you're leaving me without any sounds...oh, i know this might sound selfish... but i love you by yourself... when it comes to your affection... you'd rather be with someone else... and my tears are falling quicker... like a snowflake in the winter... i just wish i had the better side of your heart...

love is...

not sure if these things are still in the news paper but just thought i would share some of the ones i came across...
the reason why i decided to share this with you... besides the fact that they are cute... is that these newspaper cut outs (or were once cut outs)... have a very special place in my family... its because when my mom and dad were dating he would find these in the newspaper... everyday... there would be a new "love is..." cartoon... it was just one box big like the size you see above... my dad would cut it out... and give it to my mom... every day for i'm not even sure how long... perhaps till they stopped putting them in the paper... one day i saw my dad pull this stack of brown papers that were all about the size above but turning yellow from the acids in the air (yes i'm a framer so i know lol)... but it was a stack about an inch and a half thick... i was little when he showed it to me... maybe 12 or give or take 3 years and all he said was "go ask mommy what they are" and thats when she told me that my dad would give those to her every day... even when they were apart... continents apart... she would still get a little letter in the mail with a bunch of those for the days that my dad missed giving the "love is..." cartoons to my mom... i wish they were still in the newspaper... although the message is simple... its moving... sometimes its just what we need...i think this one would be the first one that i would cut out... its amazing how these small comics with so few words... and very simple pictures... paint a much bigger picture... a book with infinite volumes and editions...
till then...beThoughtful...

happy birthday man...

today Tommy Choi turns 23... i wish you were here so that i could take a birthday shot with you... i wish you were here so that we could laugh together again... i miss your hugs... man you're gettin old 23 huh... i'm just kidding haha i'm gonna be there REAL soon... i wonder what you would have been doing at 23... maybe working a full time job... but i know you would always make time to come to NIU and party it up with the rest of your friends... and man would the parties be awesome... not a day goes by that i don't think about you... i still wish you were here... i have questions to ask you... things that i think you could help me with... i mean all i can do right now is just imagine what you would say... but its not the same... and it will never be the same... but its ok... alot of us here have gotten better... but in no way have we forgotten you... i can promise that... i know alot of us here have learned from you... you've changed all of our lives... most if not all for the better... i know because of you i look at life totally different... just don't forget about us haha i know it sounds silly but i mean you might forget since you're in the most wonderful place now... we're gonna still need you to watch over us... well especially me when i go on those long drives... say hi to cyndi and karen for me... i love all of you guys and in time we'll able to take all of the birthday shots that i missed with you... that will be the party to top all parties ever... well don't party too hard up there haha... we all miss you and love you... take care of yourself man...

gives me butterflies...

its nice when people do things that you don't expect... when you are taken aback... when you look at the situation and think to yourself... hey... wow... did that just happen?... its nice its comforting... its unlike anything else... no matter how little the act... or how it may not even mean anything to the other person... i notice... and its nice... warming... things like this... unexpected things... moments when i go woah... nice... give me butterflies... now i admit its not raging butterflies but there butterflies in there for sure ^_^... i can't get ahead of myself but its good now... i feel like maybe... just maybe... perhaps we are moving in one direction... and maybe just maybe we are moving in the same direction... i guess only time will tell... i've been saying that alot lately but its true...

till then...beContent...

just shined the armor should i put it on...

i used to be bold... i think i need to find that boldness and bring it back to the surface... i guess lately i haven't been myself... well i've been myself... just not my true self... i've been over thinking... i should think less and do more... like how i did before... not to over complicate things... things are good right now... i'm patient... and things will always workout in its own way... i have a good feeling about this... this time will be different... this time will be new... this time will be more exciting than the last... i can just feel it... i feel like i'm so close even tho i can't see the end i don't care... because then when i reach the end it will surprise me and hit me like a brick wall... just like how it all began... i can honesly say that i've changed... my priorities have changed.... i've grown... and learned... and know where i want to be... who i want to be with... what makes me happy... as well as learned who my true freinds are... i know life can and will always change around me... and i'll be ready... with my newly shined armor... my shield of love in one hand... and my sword of passion in the other i will fight... i will fight the good fight until the bitter end... why?... because knights never give up... and thats exactly what i'll do... never give up...

till then...beValiant....

a good weekend...

the past weekend was fun got to hang out with some close friends and exchange gifts :) i got a bottle of Saracco which is awesome! i'm going to save that bottle for a very very special occasion... the past weekend was an interesting weekend filled with hanging out and chilling... that weekend i realized more things about myself... things such as how you never realize how much you might need another person until their presence isn't there... how much the other person helps you and how much you help them... some people affect us more than we think... its not bad and i don't see it as a crutch in any way... its those people that bring out the best in us... its those people that cause us to make us truly happy... and its us who make other people happy by... well just being ourselves... i've seen how two people so connected can be each others keys to being happy... i don't know why sometimes we miss whats right in front of us... i know that sometimes when i'm looking for something and its so obviously in front of me that i can't see it, my dad will be like "its right under your nose!"... and i think sometimes we need to be reminded of where it is... i don't want to feel like i'm holding back... so i wont... i want to be out there... to be heard... to be recognized... to make someone happy which in turn will make me happy... i havent been "happy" in a while... well not like before... sometimes i sit and think that maybe it will be a long time before i feel that happiness again... or perhaps not even at all... but when i get those thoughts i always pick myself up dust my self off and remind myself that yes i can be that happy again and it won't take forever... maybe some time yes... and i'm willing to wait... i'm willing to wait as long as it takes... because that still isn't forever... the weekend was good did some bold things... things that i'm glad that i did now that i look back on it... but now i feel something that grew a little bit recently... hope... but its just a little more than what was left... my jar of hope has been dry... i've been surviving on the fumes but now i guess i can see some liquid at the bottom... i was afraid i would run out and be stranded... i just hope that the hope i see isnt a mirage... that my mind is just making it up... like a coping mechanism... i want my hope to be genuine... i want it to be real... and i only want it to grow... grow into something beautiful...

till then...beHopeful...

could not have said it better myself...

be sure to check it out... hop over to a sunny storm's blog

HERE

:)

wishing...

its late... i wish we could talk... i wish it were as simple as just texting you... picking up the phone... or clicking your screen name... but its not... well it is... but it will be filled with questions... why is he contacting me... what do i say... awkward situations... although i'm good at making situations not awkward... i wish we could just get over that... get the huge elephant that's always inbetween us... i've always been one to bring things up... but now i don't feel like its my place to bring anything up... i don't feel like me bringing things up will be seen as constructive... but more like unnecessary pressure from me... so thats why i don't... in hopes that you will... i've always been one to make a comfortable environment with awkward situations... and i always look at myself as being understanding... so if fear fills your mind... i can only hope that i can empty it... its just the first step thats the hardest but after that first step then you at least have something to work with...

till then...beStrong... (because i know you are)

just for the sake of talking...

its nice when things aren't awkward on the phone... when conversation just flows... when you don't have to try and think of what to say next... there can be many reasons as to why we decide to talk on the phone with other people... and you know its a good conversation when you lose track of what time it is... when you realize that you've talked to them so long that you have to force yourself to hang up just so that the both of you can get on with your day... or get some sleep... i like conversations where i don't have to be someone else... or think about what the other person is thinking... i just like to talk... share my feelings... share my experiences... knowing that the other won't judge... its nice... when they will just listen when you vent... they help you get things off your chest... it keeps me sane... i'm a people person... what can i say... its hard to come by people like this... it makes you happy... special and everything in between...

till then...beTalkative...

Picturing a Decision...

ok so i've been kainda sick... it bothers me i think i may have a slight fever... looks like i'll crack open a box of the lipton chicken soups... that always makes me feel better... my body aches... but i know with some rest i'll bounce back... i always do... but this being sick has given me alot of time to think... i stare at my phone constantly... scroll through the pictures that i have on there... its interesting what pictures you'll find and be surprised at how long ago those pictures were taken... its different when you see pictures on the phone because you can remember exactly what you were doing when you held up your phone to take a picture... some of them happy... others memorable... and then there are the pictures that you'll never forget... lately i've been pressed with decisions... but its usually about the immediate future... so like within the next 5 min lol... i can see the goal... i know what i want to do... but i don't want to ruin anything by making the wrong decision every 5 min... sometimes it comes to me every minute of the day... i know i'm supposed to steer clear... sometimes answering a decision may cause me to smother the subject matter... but then what if i'm supposed to follow my heart... what if that's whats needed... what if i'm screwing it up right now thinking i'm doing the right thing... how much is too much... will too little give the wrong impression... i guess i've gotten too used to keeping my distance... as if there wasn't enough distance... but i'll take an infinite number of miles over emotional distance any day... i guess only time will tell... it always does...

till then...beThoughtful...