its like pulling teeth...

i guess that its appropriate that i called this post that since in about 2 hours i will have four of my wisdom teeth removed... don't worry i'm not nervous about that since i'll be knocked out... but i guess the feeling of pulling teeth has been a feeling far too familiar to me... moving without direction... last night while driving i had a lot of time to think... i'm always thinking... and i always felt bad for the mule... you know the one with the carrot dangled in front of him by his driver... the mule does not know better he thinks he's going to get the carrot... so he trots along happily thinking he will get the carrot... but see the driver is also smart... when the mule becomes tired and then starts to get the feeling that he may never get the carrot... the mule suddenly gets distressed and slows down... so the driver moves the carrot very close to the mules face... maybe even perhaps close enough for the mule to get a bit of that delicious carrot that's been in front of his face... now hope is thrown back into the mules mind... so he keeps trotting along happily thinking that he will get the carrot... now i don't know if the mule ever does... maybe after the long journey the driver will decide to be nice and give him the carrot... and other times the driver would just keep the carrot for next time... sometimes i feel like that mule... unable to control my emotions... at times i feel like if i just keep going it will be worth it... but other times i feel like since i am unaware of the length of the journey... i find it hard to continue on... i feel sorry for the mule... his body taken to its extremes... just as my emotions have been taken to its extremes... which ties in my title... its frustrating... like pulling teeth... i always wondered what the driver would do to the mule if he just stopped moving and refused the carrot... if the mule just got tired of having something in front of its face that he could never have... i bet the mule would just rather have nothing in its face don't you think... i don't know... i guess we can't really compare ourselves to mules... but i feel like there is still some resemblance there... i guess all we can really do is put our faith in the driver... hope that they are putting that carrot in front of our face for a reason... trust that the driver will steer us in the right direction and eventually give us that carrot at the end... i mean of course you could also just kick yourself loose from the carriage and run free... but that's not what i want to do... i don't know how long the journey is... and i can say i still have some energy left... but i just hope the driver is not surprised if i ever decide to kick the carriage somewhere down the road and break free... only time will tell right... well that's what everybody says...

till then...beThoughtful...