starting over again.... maybe...

its harder than you think... i over think... finding the right words to say... trying to not come on too strong... do i smell... my hands are sweaty... my voice is slightly shaky... i can cover up my nervousness... but is it enough... will it be enough... will me trying to cover up my nervousness make it that much easier to see right through me... perhaps... i guess it helps because we are on the same boat... i guess it helps that we have experienced the same things... kind of... maybe that doesn't help... i pray i don't get tired of trying... each time i feel like i'm so close... but have no idea of where the end is... where the end is just the beginning... i'm probably not making sense... i guess that's expected these types of situations will do that... it causes you to not make sense... to question yourself... when you really should not... just be yourself i keep telling myself... but what if myself isnt good enough... it has to be good enough... regardless i should just dive in... i'm gonna need some help... not sure if i'll be able to do it all on my own... i want to feel wanted... who knows perhaps i'm just making things bigger than they really are... i guess i just need to step back... assess the situation... and take things as they come... for the mean time just try to be me... although even that right now seems to be a challenge... why is it like that... why is it this way...