For a Moment...

so i work at Michaels as a "Certified Custom Framer" lol it sounds fancy but its really not... i sit in the little (cave is what i like to call it) and frame peoples pictures all day or help people find out what they when when they come in to frame something that not a standard size... but in the times that i have to myself (i usually wait no always work by myself) i have alot of time to think... think about alot of things... random things... things that bother me... or just what i'm going to eat... i guess its good that i have alot of time to think since i would consider myself a thinker... but its also has its downs to thinking so much... like maybe some of you i overthink... overthink about alot of things... thoughts of the future... i always wonder whats going to happen... how things will play out... i think about how other people think... and what they are thinking... i think about if they think like me... latley i've been thinking about how people date "casually" what is that? i've never understood that... dating "casually" is that just a fancy name for short-term friends with benifits? i have no idea... then i came to my own conclusion that i don't think that i would ever date casually... just the thought of meeting someone for the first time then something inside of your makes your legs move toward them then slowly your body gives you the will to ask for their number... you're talking their hand brushes yours... you play it off like its nothing but you feel electricity... as if a thousand volts just passed through yours causing your heart to stop for a moment... you're addicted... addicted to that electricity... that burst of life that nobody can explain but only experience... and even those that have experienced can't explain that to people who have experienced it... its different for everyone... your legs get weak... your chest gets heavy... your palms are sweaty... you get nervous... pupils dialate... you're sucked in and you can't escape... now how does this "casually" happen? is casually dating dating someone without these feelings? how does that feel? is it closer to friendship? i have no idea... who knows... i guess maybe its just me... maybe its me who needs to feel those things... because i guess we can't look or tell people to make us feel those things... it just happens... and when it does happen... we wan't to be there... with them... always... not casually... but perhaps i still have alot to learn... alot to figure out... should i ignore the feelings that are there or ignore the lack of feelings? just so that perhaps maybe that person can make me feel that way? i guess everything is situational... each person is their own... i know if i ever encounter those feelings again i'll make sure to take the time to appreciate it... not to rush anything... because by stopping and just enjoying the moment is what makes life beautiful... thats what our lives are about right? the moments that we remember...

till then...bein-the-moment...