temporary escape...

its nice to escape, to be free of the troubles that consume you, free of worry, stress, and everything else that brings you down... but its after that escape that all of them come back... perhaps harder than they were before... i guess the longer or harder we try to escape the worse they are when we are taken back... but I'm strong, and this is nothing i can't handle... so I'll continue to escape once in a while knowing full well that it will come back worse because for that moment of escape everything seems worth it to me at least... its the times when i come home is when i remember that at one time my heart weighed nothing... but now it feels so heavy... I'll get through it... i know i can... i need to be strong not just for me but for the other hearts out there that feel like they are dragging a 50lb weight with them... just need to keep focusing on taking in the small victories... rewarding myself for the small accomplishments because if i keep my expectations high then there won't be much celebrating and rewards for myself then whats the point? I guess with more understanding comes less hurt... my bed has never felt as warm as it did before lately I've been cold i don't know why if its because I'm getting old or if its because i sleep in a different position but somethings different... where ever i sleep its just hasn't been as warm as it used to be...

till then...befearless...